"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need water and some morals
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
