just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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