i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm like, not good at living.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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