I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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