He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
