just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
