Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
