Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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