How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
