We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I don't think brook has ever known best
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize