I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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