I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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