Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
