The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
tell me about the fingering
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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