there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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