she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
