how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
