this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
