i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
