Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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