But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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