I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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