Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
