nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize