I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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