vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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