my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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