I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
