Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
