there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he thought i was a dude.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
