she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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