i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I have aggressive nipples.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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