My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
