Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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