Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
