Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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