he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
