you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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