I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She bit a glass in half.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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