do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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