You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
