I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize