oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
