I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
