Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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