i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
