Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize