We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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