Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
