I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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