totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
