i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize