...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
