Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
