I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
