it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
