So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
