I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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