I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
