Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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