I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
