The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
