I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
