Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
