There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
